TESTS ARE CONFIRMED!!

We received the official word from the University of Michigan that there is NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE!! Those words are music to our ears!! Brian's next appointment in August 15. He will be meeting with his chemo doctor and the oncologist, and then won't go back until November. This is such an incredible relief to all of us. We really felt very confident all along, but there is always that little doubt in the back of your mind. But fortunately we won't have to worry about that any more!! We will get through the next three years with flying colors and then we will be able to put this horrible experience behind us and never look back.

Good News

We received the news we were hoping for today - preliminary tests show no sign of cancer!! We will get the official word in a couple of days after the Radiologist reads the report but the doctor said today that he doesn't expect it to change. Brian is not out of the woods until the three year mark and he will continue to be checked every two months. We now have hope. Thanks to all our family and friends for everything. We couldn't have done it without you all. We are humbled beyond words.

Great day . . . great friends

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but have been a little busy. Brian is doing quite well. I have seen a huge improvement in his stamina over the last few weeks. He isn't sitting in front of the TV all day any more. He is actually getting outside and doing things around the house. He got his models out that he hasn't touched in years and has been putting them together. He has been joking around and being sarcastic again. We actually shoveled stones yesterday for several hours and he kept up with us really quite well. He got in the pool and actually got a second wind after that, and today he felt good. We went to Ionia today and spent the day with our great friends Ken and Cindy, and Brian actually played 9 holes of golf!! My husband is slowly coming back to me. Ken and Cindy were quite surprised to see how well he was doing. We only have a couple of weeks left before we venture back to U of M, so we are very hopeful that we will hear the news we have been longing to hear . . . . . CANCER FREE!! Please pray for his complete healing . . . his appointment is on July 22. We are confident and ready to have this phase of our life over and done with. He will of course have to go back every 3 months for 3 years, but we can do this!! He has come so incredibly far!! Thanks so much for your kind words, letters, phone calls, prayers, emails, meals, money, etc. etc. etc. etc. We couldn't have taken this journey without all of your support, and we will never forget the kindness you have shown us. We are STILL getting cards from people . . . we are very blessed!!

Successful Day in Ann Arbor

Went to Ann Arbor today and I feel it was a pretty successful day. Brian had his G-tube removed which hurt like the dickens!! They just yank on it and pull it out! You should have seen his eyes when he was done!! But now it's out and things are all better. Now he has to eat and can't be lazy any more.

The doctor prescribed him some medication to hopefully give him some get-up-and-go. She also said that it is perfectly normal to go through a depression phase and he will overcome it. It was nice to hear that.

We also went to see the radiation oncologist and he looked down Brian's throat, gagged him a few times, but said all looks good. He will be going back on July 22 to get his PET scan, and we will know that day whether or not the cancer is gone.

We are a little nervous, but we are very hopeful.

A little funny for you, I asked Dr. Eisbruch if anyone had ever thrown up on him before when he sticks his fingers down someones throat. He paused for a minute, and then said "no, I've gotten bitten before, and if anyone bites me again I'm going to retire." This guy is so sober all the time, it was kind of fun to see another side of him today.

All in all, it was a great day.

It's been a while!!

Sorry it's been a while since I have blogged, but it's been a little hectic around the Anson house. Tyler's graduation party was Saturday and I have two more weeks of school and then things will slow down a bit.

We are off again to Ann Arbor tomorrow for a check up. He has to see the chemo doctor and the nutritionist and then the radiation doctor after that. I am anxious to talk to them as Brian is in a depression and can't seem to get out of his funk he is in. He is extremely tired and isn't able to sleep at night and can't seem to get over it. I am concerned about him and just wish I could get my husband back. We have had numerous talks about this, and he just can't seem to feel good about it. Maybe it's a stage that all people with cancer go through, but I am not liking it at all. He isn't the same husband that I had before who is confident and independent. He now is very withdrawn and negative and wants me there all the time. I am just hoping this is a phase.

He is doing quite well now with no using his G-tube. He is only using it at breakfast, so he should be able to get that out very soon.

I will try and keep you posted a little better than I have been. Thanks for all your love and support, it means alot to us!!

Good News!!

Brian and I received good news today. Brian went to see his chemo doctor and his oncologist today. The chemo doctor told Brian that he looks great and that he is doing better than 80% of the people with the same cancer. I think it was good for him to hear that from someone else besides me. Now our next task at hand is to get him to eat again and get rid of the feeding tube. He also needs to get up and exercise which if he does he will start feeling better. Makes sense to me!!

The other part of the good news is that Dr. McLean did a scope of his throat and it looks great!! He said that there is sore that looks like it is scabbed over and healing and everything looks normal!! Of course we still don't know if the cancer is gone totally or not as he has to have the PET scan. The PET scan is a dye that they put into his system and if there are any cancer cells left they will illuminate. We will find that out late July early August. I really want to get excited but I'm also fearful too. If they find cancer still he will have to undergo surgery which will be very taxing on Brian, as he has been through enough already. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there.

In the meantime Brian continues to heal and is very impatient, but knows that he is headed in the right direction.

Thanks to everyone for all your support!!

I want my husband back :o(

Brian is really having a hard time right now. He has absolutely no energy and his swallowing has been very difficult. He doesn't smile much and he doesn't talk much. Even though he is done with the treatments, of course you just don't snap your fingers and everything gets back to normal. I really miss my husband. I know he'll get there some day, but it's so hard to see him like this.

I have been really glad to get back into the swing of things doing yard work for spring and running errands and trying to get things situated with Tyler's graduation just around the corner. But everything is not normal for him. I was so busy getting back into the swing of things I have forgotten that he still needs attention. Not that I was ignoring him, but I was there for him for 7 weeks every single minute of the day, and now that reality is upon me, and now I have other things that need my attention (including my children that have been ignored for 7 weeks). I thought being home would be easier, but actually it is more difficult. I am pulled in so many directions now I can't see straight.

I know that he doesn't want me to go back to work on Monday, and I really would love to stay home and take care of him, but I need to get back because this is a really busy time of year for me, and of course you know the bills don't go away just because you are off work!!

We'll get through it, but nobody said I had to enjoy it! I'm not complaining, really! I am really glad to be away from that hospital . . . . okay I may be complaining just a little - sorry about that!

WE DID IT!!

I can't believe it, WE ARE DONE!! We finally made it through this horrible nightmare! It is all behind us now! I am happy beyond words. We are home and back where we belong!

I cannot even begin to thank everyone for all of their support for our family through all this. We are truly blessed beyond words. The cards, the emails, the blog messages, the phone calls, the food, the prayers, the hugs . . . I could go on forever and ever. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone.

I will keep you posted on Brian's progress, maybe not quite as much as I have, but I will keep you posted on how he is feeling. We go back to the doctor the end of May.

ONE MORE DAY!!

Here we are, the last night or as Riley used to call it, "one more sleep" until we are home for good!! I can't believe it is finally here. We should be on the road tomorrow hopefully by 4:00.

I think it finally hit Brian today that he's made it through all of this. He was talking to the personnel department at Perrigo, put the phone down and burst into tears. I kept asking him what was wrong and he finally said . . . . It's done, I'm finally done. Wow, he's right. We made it through the rough times and it can only get better from here.

Can't wait to wake up tomorrow, I've never been so happy about going home.

Two more days!!

Today was pretty uneventful. Brian had a pretty good day. He is extremely fatigued but that is of course to be expected at this point in the game. We celebrated 19 years of wedded bliss today at the hospital (exciting stuff), but are just happy that we are together. Cancer kinda does that to you, you're just happy to be together.

Brian had his last chemo today, and has one more day left for hydration which will be Wednesday. We already have 3 doctors appointments scheduled for May and June, and we will be back and forth alot in the next 5 years, but at least we will be able to come home every night.

Two more radiations and we're outa there!!

Happy Easter!!

Hope everyone is having a great Easter!! At least the sun is shining a little bit and it's fairly warm out!

I got up this morning and Madie and I went to church and then came home to get ready to go to Brian's folks today. Brian is not feeling well at all today and has been very quiet. We did go over to his parents but didn't stay very long. We came home and he went right to bed. His neck is raw and looks like it's killing him even though he hasn't complained much about it. I'm sure he's getting sick of me asking him if he's okay, but I just don't know what to do for him. I wish I could take all his pain away from him and I would do it in an instant if I could. Just want my husband back, that's all.

We will be heading back to Ann Arbor tonight for the last time. Three days, that's all . . . . three days . . . .

3 more days!

Brian woke up this morning and felt pretty good. We went up to Menards today and bought some crab grass preventer. He came back home and walked the yard to apply it and it about did him in. Of course Tyler and I both offered to do it for him, but he said he felt fine. I should have insisted on doing it for him, because it knocked him for a loop. That has been the toughest thing for him because he has never been one to sit and do nothing. He slept for quite a while, then woke up and vomited. Not the best day for him, but he's trying. It was nice to have the sun out today - I just wish that darn wind would go away!!

My kids have been so great through all this. I know that it hasn't been easy at all for them, but they have kept plugging away. We raised them up right!! Riley just started drivers training last week, and is in collage, Tyler registered for his classes at KVCC and Jessica is getting ready for the trip of a lifetime to England. Life goes on!

Looking forward to having Wednesday get here!

Better day today

Brian had a better day today, but looks really pale for some reason. He's very tired, but his nausea was better today. He's been complaining that he's cold.

It's good to be home, but for some reason I'm just exhausted today. I think everything is catching up with me. I'm hoping that now that we will be back home in 3 days and I have to go back to work in a week that I don't crash. It's back to reality again. I'm not sure what that really is, but I'm sure I will find out very soon. This all still feels like it's all a dream and I'm hoping that I'll wake up . Ok, I know that won't happen, but it was worth a shot.

I wish that the worry would go away, that's the toughest part of this. We will now have to wait for 3 whole months to see if all this has been worth it. I pray that it has been. I don't know what I'd do if we heard that the cancer is still there. God I hope we don't hear that. I am not prepared for that. My head tells me that I refuse to think otherwise, but my heart says, what if? It's really a scary thing. All we can do now is wait . . . .

Rough Day Today

For some reason Brian had a rough day today. He vomited several times and seems to be queasy for some reason. Hopefully it's just a little hiccup and he will be fine again tomorrow. He ran out of one of his medications and we didn't get it filled until today so we are hoping that is why.

We are going to take a bunch of stuff home tomorrow. Wow, can't believe how much stuff we have accumulated over 7 weeks!!

Can't believe we only have 4 days left!!

One More Week!

One more week to go, that's all! I can't believe it! We're almost there! I know that Brian has a tough road ahead of him still, but to be able to be home to recover, that just sounds incredibly good to us right now!!

It wouldn't be right for me not to tell everyone that for the first time in my daughter's life, I had to not see her on her birthday. It makes me sad, but I know that Jess understands, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FIRST BORN JESSICA - THE BIG 29~~ LOVE YOU BUNCHES!

Brian has his nausea under control, his pain is under control, and is finally feeling better, and now the raw skin appears!! We of course expected this, but it just seems like he just got everything else under control and . . . . BAM! He was at the doctor yesterday, and he woke up this morning and both sides of his neck are peeling and looking like they are going to open up with sores. He saw the doctor again today to get some medicine for his neck, so hopefully that will keep the sores under control. But it's okay, we can get through this!! It doesn't hurt him yet, and of course hopefully the pain patch will take care of it. He can always put two patches on if the raw sores get too painful, so he will be okay.

Winding down to the end reminds me of how many wonderful people Brian and I have in our lives. We will never be able to thank everyone adequately enough. We will always remember the kindness that was shown to our family. We are truly blessed beyond measure.

With all that said, we found out last night that one of Brian's friends called and his dad has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer which is in his kidneys and spine. Brian and I both know the road ahead for them will be tough, but know that WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. I pray that Scott and his family know that prayers work and miracles happen every day and we will be praying for his complete recovery. I have a plaque hanging in my living room that says . . . . Miracles happen to those who believe.

Great Day Today!!

Got great news from the doctor today! First of all, Brian gained 4 pounds, which is huge, and the doctor said that compared to other people that are in this stage of their treatment he looks really good. Really? I thought he looked like crap, but apparently not. He is anemic, which is totally normal, and he is starting to develop a sore on the outside of his neck, which the doctor will be watching. But overall, considering this is the last full week of treatment, he is doing very well. So happy to hear that!! Brian was tickled too. I could tell in his face that he was happy.

I can't believe that our journey is almost over with. It's been a long haul, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it feels great! It's hard to believe that I will be going back to work in two weeks, IF Brian is feeling okay, which I am anticipating that he will. I've really missed my co-workers. They have always been such a tremendous support for me.

Better Day Today!!

Brian got up this morning feeling like a new person!! I think getting food into his stomach has made all the difference in the world. He is smil ing again and actually carrying on a conversation with me!! I am so relieved. I really starting to worry that he wasn't going to make it through this stuff very easily, but I'm thinking that having this feeding tube put in was a very wise move.

Now I can try and relax and enjoy the weekend!

TGIF

We made it home about 2:00 p.m. today. Brian had a rough morning. We had to be at the hospital at 8:00, so I pushed a half can of food through his new feeding tube and he was back in the bathroom vomiting within minutes. We tried again while we were at the hospital and were successful. He also had a full can when we got home, so that's the most he has eaten since Monday. He has dropped a total of 20 pounds, so he really can't afford to lose any more weight.

He seems to be feeling a little better tonight. We will be adding more and more food as the day and weekend goes on, and hopefully by Monday he will have his full 7 cans pushed into his stomach and he will keep them all down.

It seems really good to be home this weekend!!

Things went well today for Brian. He was able to have his feeding tube inserted without any complications. It only took about 10 minutes for the actual procedure and of course we waited over an hour just to get into the surgery room, but it's done!! He had radiation after that and now we are back at the hotel and he is resting. He will be able to start using the feeding tube tomorrow. We have to start slow and add a little at a time. I will now have to carry a bag around with all of his supplies, so it will be just like having a diaper bag to carry again :o)

This whole thing is just really emotionally draining. I know that there are so many people that are worse off than Brian, but it's really hard to go through this . . . . I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

I'll be glad to be heading home again tomorrow. After tomorrow, only 8 more days!

Wicked Wednesday

Brian has not had a very good day at all today. He woke up feeling a little queasy. I made him a shake and he took 3 spoonfuls and vomited. It's not the nausea that is getting him, it's the lack of secretions in his mouth. The radiation has totally messed up his salvary glands and he really struggles with that every day. He is constantly spitting trying to get the "gook" out of his mouth. He describes it as feeling like he has elmers glue in his mouth.

We went and saw the surgeon today. Brian will be getting a g-tube put in tomorrow. He is losing too much weight (15 pounds already) and has consistently been losing every week. It is a constant battle for him to try and eat every day. This will take the worry away and he can still take fluids by mouth, but he won't have to force himself to consume calories any more. He doesn't have any problems getting pop or water or any liquids down, it's just the nutritional supplements that bother him. I am really glad he is doing it, I will be able to get enough nutrition in him every day without any problems this way.

Even though we are at the tail end of his treatment, this will be the toughest time for him. I can see that it is wearing on him heavily.

Better Day

Brian had a much better day today. His nausea is gone and he isn't quite as fatigued as he was. We discovered that he likes the new shakes that are 1,000 calories each so that was quite a breakthrough!! I'm sure that he will get sick of them soon, but until then . . . .

Hoping this week will go by fast!

Only 12 more days to go!!

Brian had a tough night last night and a tough day today. He was queasy again and very fatigued. He slept through 99% of his treatment today. We went to our usual spot, Old Country Buffet for dinner, but he hardly touched a thing. He came back to the hotel and went right to sleep. I am going to try and wake him up in a little bit and see if I can get him to eat some more. I got a new recipe for a malted that has 1,000 calories, so that ought to beef him up a little! He only lost 1 pound over the week, which is quite good for his track record.

I had the pleasure of talking to a lady today who has terminal cancer. It's funny, just when you think you have it so bad, someone always has it worse. She has a rare form of stomach cancer, and the doctor told her 11 months ago that she had only 6 months to live. She has a great attitude despite her situation. She was able to see her daughter get married, and now she is expecting her first grandchild in October. Lord willing she will make it to see that baby born. She met with the doctor today and they are ready to call hospice in, so things aren't sounding good for her at all, but she was smiling and happy. Makes me count my blessings.

Only 2 more chemo treatments and 12 more radiation treatments. I will be soooo glad when this is over!

Sunny Saturday

We had a great visit today from our good friends Ken and Cindy. They came all the way from Ionia to visit with us. It was great seeing them again, it had been too long! Brian held up really well!! He still is doing quite well. His stamina isn't there, he gets tired pretty quickly, but he still has not experienced any more nausea! That has made all the difference in the world!

We are counting the days until Brian is finished, and if you really want to know, he has 13 more treatment days to be exact!! We are over the hump now!

Thanks to everyone for the continued support, phone calls, cards, food, etc. It really means a lot!

Its a good day!!

Brian woke up this morning AGAIN with no nausea! He didn't sleep well last night but not because he didn't feel good, but just because he didn't feel tired! What a change! I think it is probably the steroids. I'd rather have him not tired then extremely fatigued. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that he is feeling better. It is soooo hard to see someone you love in pain!

Tomorrow is Friday, and we only have 3 more weeks to go! I will be so glad to have a normal life back again.

The kids are still here, they will probably be leaving in a couple of hours. I guess Brian picked a good week to start feeling better!

Wonderful Wednesday

Here it is Wednesday and NO NAUSEA!! I think we have finally gotten over the hump. Brian actually ate dinner at Old Country Buffet tonight!! He didn't eat a whole lot, but it was something.

The kids came up for dinner tonight and are spending the night. Its nice not to be here by ourselves. Brian actually didn't even take a nap today, which is highly unusual. They started giving him a new nausea med and upped another one, and also added a steroid to Wednesday and Friday when he gets his IV fluids. Tomorrow will be the real test. The last three Thursdays he has been down in bed all day.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support. It means alot to all of us!!

Hooray for Tuesday

Brian had an awesome day yesterday, well for most of the afternoon anyway. He had another rough weekend with nausea and vomiting, and has dropped close to 10 pounds. He cannot seem to shake the nausea thing, but on Mondays after chemo and iv fluids he feels much better and actually eats food, so we have determined that we think it's the steroid that they give him on Mondays that is helping. The doctor put him on a patch for his nausea and upped one of his other medications. If his nausea returns we will have to get ahold of the doctor right away.

I had an awesome day yesterday. My friends Lynea and Jan came to visit and Sue stayed with me over night. It was so nice to talk to someone and laugh and feel fairly normal again. The kids are coming over tomorrow so I will have more company.

Gloomy Saturday

Brian woke up this morning with terrible heartburn. He took his meds and a few minutes later he vomited. His hair is coming out in the back. He has a small patch gone on the left side at the bottom. It's really weird because there is a guy that is getting chemo and radiation with Brian and his hair is falling out in the same place.

This continues to be a struggle for him. I know he'll get through it, but in the thick of it it's not fun.

Hoping tomorrow will be a little better.

Cancer Sucks!

You know, I have really tried to stay positive through all this, but THIS IS HARD!! I just feel like I'm on a roller coaster all the time! My husband, the man who is never sick and who never sleeps is really struggling. I really don't know how people get through this still smiling. I have never felt so helpless . . . okay maybe I have with Gracie, but not with Brian. I know that things will get better, I realize that. But tell my heart that right now. And who am I to complain! When we see these little kids with cancer, and how these parents must be feeling, I can't imagine what that would be like. But it is still someone you love and you just want things to be normal again. But things will never be normal again. We will be thinking about the "C" word for the rest of our lives. This just really sucks!!! Ok I'm done now. My pity party is complete. Thanks for listening.

Hump Day

Today was an average day. Brian has slept most of the day today as he seems to be very lethargic. He woke up a little queasy but felt a little better after he received his iv fluids. I'm hoping the fatigue isn't a sign of what is to come over the weekend. I know now that if he isn't feeling up to par that I should call the doctor right away. I'm excited for next week. Sue is coming to stay with us for a couple of days, Lynea and Jan are coming to visit me on Monday and my kids are coming up Wednesday morning and staying with us through Thursday afternoon, so I won't be lonely next week! It will be nice to have someone to talk to while Brian sleeps the day away. :o) We are half way through our adventure!!

Terrific Tuesday!

Brian is a new man!! Brian woke up this morning with no queasiness, and his pain patch is working, so he has virtually no pain in this throat!! He actually got up this morning and ate breakfast and has been fairly productive (as productive as you can be in a hotel room). This is such a relief to me. I hate seeing him like that!

We go back to the hospital for IV fluids again tomorrow, so I am anticipating that he will feel much better this Thursday (Thursdays have been really bad for him in the past).

Today is a good day!!

Manic Monday . . .

Today was EXTREMELY taxing for some reason. We left the house last night with all of us in tears. I thought this was supposed to get easier. Brian had an extremely rough weekend, with him being very fatigued and queasy. We were able to get him on some new medications which I can already see a difference. He actually ate food today for the first time since Wednesday. What a relief for me! He has dropped way too much weight already and if he loses any more weight they will be putting a G-tube in. They have already threatened that. So I am sitting down tonight and making a "feeding" and medication schedule and he better abide by it, or else! :o) The doctor said today that if he gives me any problems that I am to call her and she will yell at him so I don't have to. (Kinda like that phone call my mom used to make - if you don't straighten up I will call your father at work and you will talk to him!!). Brian will also be going in every 3rd day to get IV fluids and a nausea drug to make sure he can eat. That was a big relief for me, because that was weighing heavily on me. You can already see that this has taken its toll on him. I can see it in his eyes.

Here goes another week!!

This weekend was tough for Brian, he slept most of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. He did muster up enough strength to go to the play last night, which was AWESOME!! Great job PHS!!

We will be talking to the doctor tomorrow about changing his medication as he was very queasy and his throat is killing him. He has already lost 5 pounds in a couple days and really can't afford to lose too much more.

I just want to say once again how incredibly blessed we are. The support from our family and friends and even people we don't really know very well has been incredible. The phone calls, the prayers, the hugs, the food, the cards, the help with the kids . . . . I could go on and on forever. We truly live in an amazing town and have been overwhelmed with kindness from so many people. We hope that we can someday pay it forward and give like you all have given to us. It has made our journey so much easier with all of you. A special thank you to my friend Sue, who has been like a second mom to my kids, she calls and checks on them constantly and makes sure that everything is running smoothly without us. Thanks Sue, don't know what I'd do without you . . . .

I'm hoping that this week will go a little smoother. Week 3, here we come!!

We're home!!

Really glad to be home today. Brian is still under the weather. He slept all the way home today and most of the afternoon. It is 6:00 and he is finally getting something to eat. I am a little worried about his lack of appetite and him wanting to sleep all the time. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day for him. It's really hard to see him like this, he is always so active.

Please pray for extra strength and endurance for him as he is really struggling, and it's only 2 weeks into it!! I'm really worried that it will only get worse.

One more day before we go home!!

Today is Thursday, finally!! Brian slept almost all day today. I half expected it today as last week Thursday was the worst day for him. He got up about 9:30 this morning, went back to bed at 10:00, got up about 1:00 to take a shower, went back to bed and slept until about 4:45, went for his treatment, came back to the hotel and then slept until about 8:00. I'm glad he was able to rest, but boy was I bored today!! I'm used to him entertaining me. I did go to the mall for a while and did my laundry, oh boy!!

Brian's throat is really starting to be sore and his throat is very dry, so the radiation is already affecting his salivary glands, which was expected, but not quite this soon.

Looking forward to being home tomorrow! We should be home around 3:00 or so.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, thank you for your continued support and prayers!

Wacky Wednesday

I'm glad that we didn't get the ice they were predicting for Ann Arbor, although I'm disappointed because my in-laws were coming to visit us today, but we told them to stay home because of the impending weather.

Went to Cabella's yesterday for the first time. It's a really neat store, but very expensive!! Now we can say we have been to the only Cabella's in Michigan.

Brian is still doing pretty well, he's eating better and sleeping good (I know that because I'm not - he's snoring louder than ever before!!) He has discovered he feels better if he eats more, which makes sense. He has started getting a sore throat, which is earlier than the doctors predicted, so we will be asking the doctor about pain meds before it gets too bad.

I am so proud of him and his attitude about all this. He just rolls with it and has a great outlook on life, which is why I love him so much!! He still is my knight in shining armor :o)

Be sure to come and see Beauty and the Beast this weekend!! The Anson boys are in the play - Riley is a townsperson and Tyler is the backstage manager. Looking forward to it!!

Week Two . . .

Today went relatively smoothly with chemo and radiation. We were in a room with another couple and we talked with them for quite a while about each other's cancer and it made the day go alot faster. Brian seemed in really good spirits and seemed to go through everything today very well. I also had a better day. It just amazes me at how many people are here for treatment for cancer. We talked with Dr. Eisbruch this morning (he is Brian's radiation doctor), and he said there are about 15 people right now that he is treating just with the same cancer as Brian. That doesn't include all the other different cancers. It's also hard to see all the kids that are going through the cancer. Like we've always said, no matter what you are going through, there is always someone that has it worse than you.

Sunday was hard. The kids always get sad when we leave, which is hard. But at the end of the week we only have 5 more weeks!!

Saturday . . . .

Boy was it nice to be home all day today. The best part was Gracie came home, the worst part was that our guys were gone almost all day today because of the musical. Hopefully we'll see them more tomorrow. Brian's parents and sister and brother-in-law came over today to see Brian, and he also heard from an old friend from high school. I can really tell that Brian is not himself, he is not eating much at all, and he looks tired all the time. I hope it doesn't get worse, but I'm afraid it will. I have to keep at him to make sure he eats. I can tell this is going to be a full time job keeping him in line. :o)

Back to reality tomorrow evening when we head back. :o(

We're home!!!

I can't tell you how good it feels to be home today!! We got home about 1:30, went home to see our doggies, and realized that neither one of us had house keys to get in the house!! So we went to Starr to surprise Madie. She was so happy to see me she wouldn't let go of me! It was priceless!
I even think Suzie Q missed me too . . . . :o)

Brian has officially completed one week of treatment, only 6 more weeks to go!! He said that his neck and tongue area feels "different". I looked in his mouth yesterday, and I can't see the tumor any more, so I know it has gone down from when he started!!

Brian really only had one bad day this week, which was Thursday. We are hoping that he will only have one day like that, and they told us that he might feel the effects of the chemo about 3 days later, which he did. But he got up this morning and felt good.

Another bit of good news, it looks like Gracie will be coming home tomorrow, so we will be one big happy family for at least a couple days!

It's almost Friday . . .

Things are a little calmer this morning. Gracie was admitted to the hospital early this morning after being in the emergency room for 5 hours. She is resting quietly but is still very sick. They aren't sure what she has, but it could be RSV, pneumonia, or some type of bacterial infection. It was a really long night last night as I couldn't sleep very well.

Brian had a rough night himself. I think the chemo has finally hit him. He said he is very queezy this morning and didn't fight me when I told him to take his medication. He has a headache on the left hand side of his head from the top to bottom. I would imagine it's from the radiation, but we will ask the doctor this afternoon.

As my kids would say when they were little, "how many more sleeps till we get there?" Well we only have one more sleep before we can be home for the weekend and sleep in our own house in our own bed.

Thanks to everyone for their continued support and prayers. It means alot to us.

What next?

Okay, I don't like this being away from home stuff. Gracie is terribly sick with an awful cough. She is requiring breathing treatments every 2-3 hours, she doesn't seem to want to get rid of her fever, Jessica is a mess, she's going on little if no sleep, the boys are both stressed out and I'm 100 miles away from home. AAAHHHHH! If I could concentrate on just getting Brian better it would be nice, but of course nothing is ever that simple. I am really trying to be positive, but this has been one of the toughest weeks of my entire life, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. I have never felt so frustrated and not in control. A little help here, God, please? I can't wait for Friday to get here.

Good morning!!

I have been told that it is difficult to post on this blog, so I wanted everyone to know I changed the settings so it will be easier. Just click on "comments" under any of the posts, preferably the last post, and then it will let you post, you can click on anonymous, and then it will give you some numbers you have to put in, and then hit submit and it should work for you. Make sure you put your name at the end so I know who it's from!! Thank you!

We made it through a full day!!

Well, today was a really long day, but thanks to Jeana and Sara Keck we had a really nice meal waiting for us when we got back to the hotel!! :o)

We started out about 9:30 this morning, where Brian had blood work done, and then to the Skills Center for a last minute lesson on what to expect with chemo, and then to the Infusion Lab. Brian did well with his treatment today, he was just a little tired because they gave him Benadryl to make sure he didn't have any reaction to the chemo. Apparently sometimes your body will say, "hey, this isn't supposed to come into my veins", and people sometimes have reactions to it, so the Benadryl helps to make sure that doesn't happen. Brian also had a radiation treatment today too. We got back to the hotel about 5:30, so we're both pretty tuckered out.

I had to step out for a minute today, all this "stuff" got a little bit overwhelming to me for some reason. I sat down out in the hall and began to cry. I'm not sure why, but I guess I had to just let go for a minute. I didn't want Brian to see me upset. I'm better now. Sometimes you just need a little cry.

I had the pleasure of seeing an old friend, of all places, here at the hospital. She was there for a check up. We talked for quite a while and it was great catching up with her. Marge, it was great to see you and Carey!!

I think I'm going to sleep pretty well tonight! But don't forget, tonight's the season finale of the Bachelor!!

Coming home today!!

What a tough night last night, but we get to come home today! Gracie ended up being admitted to Bronson last night. Tyler and Riley ended up staying alone, so that was a little tough for them since they have never done that before. But my dear friend Sue went to stay with them for a while. Don't know what I would do without her!! Sue you're the best!! Of course this would all have to happen at once . . . . but hopefully it will be a quick stay for Grace. Brian's radiation is at 3:30 today and then we'll be on our way home. Hopefully Grace will be back home by the time we get there!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Only 34 days left!!

Well Brian did well today during his first radiation treatment. He came out of the room looking like a reptile. His face had mesh marks all over it from the mask being so tight!! It was quite funny. I took some pictures so I can use it for blackmail at a later date :o).

We are settling in to our new digs just fine. The room we have is really quite nice. It has all the comforts of home, well pretty much. Brian has radiation at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon and then we will head back home for the weekend, and then come back probably Sunday night. Monday will be a very long day, as we found out today that he will be in chemo for 6 hours, and then in radiation for 1 hour.

Madie took us leaving a little hard. She climbed up on my lap last night and cried, and kept saying, "I'm gonna miss you Grammy!!" Broke my heart. The boys and Jessica seemed to be fine, but of course we are only gone one day. Gracie vomited 4 times today - don't know what that's all about, but hopefully its just cause she misses her Grammy. Don't want to have to worry about her.

Brian is settled in quite nice watching MSU beat up on Iowa. Nighty night all, thanks for all your support.

Wow!!

To all of our church family, Starr family, Perrigo family, neighbors, friends and relatives,

Brian and I are absolutely humbled and overwhelmed with the outpouring of kindness you all have shown to our family. Never in a million years did we expect to receive all the cards, gifts, emails, phone calls, offers to help our family with meals, offers to help our kids, thoughts, prayers . . . . . I could go on and on forever. You all will never ever know how much this means to all of us. Brian and I both received a HUGE package of stuff from our co-workers today, and we brought it all in and sat it on the counter, and the kids stood there with their mouths hanging open. They just kept saying, "I can't believe this". Every day I am more and more amazed at the kindness we have been shown. We love each and every one of you, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We hope that someday we can return the favor.

You all have made this journey so much easier, and we will never forget what all of you have done for us.

We have one more day at work and we will begin our journey. It will be so much easier with all of you supporting us . . . SO THANK YOU!

One more week . . . .

Well, this is it . . . . the last week left before we start. I am anxious for him to get started but am scared at the same time. After this point our lives will never be the same. I am at peace with all this, and know that Brian is going to be just fine, but I am also scared to death. I am afraid to see the man I love suffer. He has always been the rock, he has always been the one that has been there for me through all of my surgeries, sicknesses, etc. Now the tables are turned and I have to be the strong one now. I hope that I don't fail. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm the rock of this family, but I have been strong because I had a strong husband to stand behind me. He's not afraid of this, so why am I? I just have to move ahead and not think about it and deal with what comes. Wish me luck!

The weekend is here!

The weekend is finally here and I am so glad! There have been a few people asking for our address of where we will be staying in Ann Arbor. The name of the place is Candlewood Suites, and the address is 701 Waymarket Way, Ann Arbor, Michigan 48103. If you are in the area, stop by and see us. I'm sure we will have a little time on our hands :o). Mondays will be the only days that wouldn't be good as we will be spending the whole day at the hospital, and of course Fridays we come home. So, if you are in the area give us a jingle (269) 203-5584. We start March 10.

We're gonna kick cancer like a soccer ball . . .

I know I already posted about today, but a dear friend just reminded me of a saying . . . There is a little buddy of mine who was the most inspiring, sassy, funny, crazy little 8 year old that I have ever met. Caleb passed away a little over a year ago from brain cancer. Caleb inspired me every single day. He never complained no matter how badly he felt, and he made me laugh each and every day. I think of him often, and still have a picture of his sweet little face hanging up in my cubicle at work. His famous saying was "I'm gonna kick cancer like a soccer ball." So Caleb, my dear sweet angel, this is for you . . . . BRIAN IS GONNA KICK THIS CANCER LIKE A SOCCER BALL!" Miss you little buddy . . . . love from your office lady.

March Madness, here we come!!

Today was really a pretty good day considering. Our first stop was at the radiation oncology clinic where Brian had his "simulation" appointment where they made his radiation mask and they marked his "tattoo". He only got one on his chest and it's only a line with a piece of tape. I know he was hoping he could have my name tattooed on his chest (NOT). He thinks he's more manly now. :o) Then down to the PET scan, where I sat for two LONG hours waiting for him, but it went fast for him which is what was important. Then we were off to the chemotherapy doctor, which I thought went better than I expected. Brian will only receive a small dose of chemo on Mondays. The chemo is mostly done to help the radiation do its job better. The best news I heard was that he probably won't lose his hair. Not that it mattered to him, but it's just nice that he won't look like a cancer patient as much. They stressed heavily on the "eat nutritious meals and exercise, even if you don't feel like it." I am more confident now then ever that Brian will sail through all of this, as he doesn't let anything get him down, and knowing him, he won't let any grass grow under his feet. This will be a great chance for me to maybe drop a few pounds and get healthier.

Our start date for all this is March 10, two weeks from tomorrow. The schedule is chemo on Mondays, and radiation Monday through Friday. He will have treatments for 7 weeks. So we will be living in Ann Arbor Monday through Friday and then coming home on weekends. We have a whole two weeks off now from doctor's appointments, so that will be nice. Maybe for two more weeks we can have a little normalcy. We are ready. Brian is ready to fight this and WIN!! Stay tuned . . . .

Long day tomorrow!

Tomorrow is a big day for Brian. We meet with the chemo doctor for the first time, then meet with the radiation doctor again to have a "simulation" appointment. He then goes for a Pet Scan after that. I'm a little nervous about that - afraid they will find more cancer. The hardest thing about all this is to try and stay positive when you're scared to death. All the "what ifs" run through your mind constantly. I try and keep as busy as possible, but reality unfortunately kicks me in the butt every once in a while.

Brian has been remarkably strong through all this. He's my rock and always has been. He had a slight melt down the other night when our electric went out, it was pouring down sleet/rain and the generator was in the shed, he finally got it out only to find it wouldn't start. We finally got it started and the plug shorted out . . . but we finally got it all to work about midnight that night. Still don't have power, but we have heat. I'm worried about him, he's slowing down a little bit, but he never complains about anything. He's tickled about his new "toy" that his sister Lori bought him - an IPOD. He's been laying on the couch listening to that, so I know he enjoys that - THANKS LORI!!

Thanks again to all my friends and family for all your support! We couldn't do this without all of you! I have had so many offers of making food for the kids while we're gone! They will be eating better than us :o)

Love,
Dalene

Through sleet, through rain, through snow . . .

Well we made it all the way to Ann Arbor this morning, if you can believe that!! We left the house at 6:00 a.m. and made it there in 3 hours, which it normally takes two, but we made it, white knuckling it all the way to and from!

Brian had his two teeth pulled without any problem whatsoever. He came out of the dentist's office looking like a chipmunk and smiling. I have a funny story - we stopped by one of the motels to take a look at it, and I went in and left Brian out in the car. While I was in the hotel, Brian decided he wanted to take his gauze out of his mouth. He pulled and pulled and pulled and it wouldn't come out. He finally decided to look in the mirror and realized that he was pulling on his lip instead of the gauze . . . . :o)

We're in for the Long Haul

Hi everyone,

This is our first post for our blog. We decided to set this up so all of our wonderful friends and family can keep track of Brian's progress as he takes this long journey through his chemo and radiation. As most of you know, Brian was diagnosed with Oral Pharnyx Cancer in February of 2011. Brian and I will be moving to Ann Arbor starting in a few weeks and will stay there Monday through Friday and coming home on weekends while Jessica, Tyler and Riley will be staying back at home holding down the fort.

Brian will be going back to Ann Arbor on Monday. He will be going to the dentist to have his wisdom teeth removed. This is necessary as the radiation will totally change his teeth, mouth and gums. Any teeth that might become a problem in the future have to be removed now, as his teeth, gums and mouth will not have the ability to heal after the radiation treatments are done.

Brian and I will also travel to Ann Arbor again on Wednesday where we will be meeting with the chemo doctor, the radiation doctor and he will also have a Pet Scan to make sure there is no cancer in his lungs or anywhere else. We should have a pretty good idea then when his treatments will begin.

Brian has a great attitude about all this, and has every intention of a full recovery. We believe that God has his hand in all this, and that His grace and mercy is ever-present in our lives, as we have seen so many times with our sweet little Baby G.

We are looking forward to keeping you posted and look forward to your posts as we take this journey together.